I often get comments like that from parents. And following that, I may also hear the quiet disbelief with the ‘hmm…mm” breathing sound from the other side of the phone.
In many ways, I can understand. How can therapy through play help especially when child has just misbehaved in school, either by punching, biting or refusal to listen to teacher. Or child may have been crying, showing anxiety, refusing to go school, or just not even wanting to do any work or anything (Please refer to the Play therapy services page for other presenting concerns).
And the teachers plus both parents are at their wits” end. Teacher is upset. Mummy is equally stressed together with Daddy. Everything that they could have done that includes talking to the child or using reward/consequence system for behaviour modification…all boxes are ticked. Child may respond but not consistent. Or ..Child may not. Nothing seems to work at all for now. In school or at home.
And that’s what intrigues parents about my play therapy service: What is play therapy? And what can play therapy offer for the child?
I am a counsellor. Or to be more specific, I used play and creative arts modality in my therapeutic work with children. Child’s language is Play and thus I use their language to build a therapeutic relationship with them. And so child comes to my room or ‘Special Time’ as we call it, explores around and plays with my tool kit in the room. It can be arts and crafts, puppets, clay/play doh or play with the sand using the different figurines.
So play itself allows me to build rapport with child, which is vital for trust to come between us. With no trust gained, there is no way out to even think of change. Through play, child begins to relax, or what the neuroscientists have named the limbic system where ‘Flight, flight or Freeze’ response mechanisms began to calm down within the child.
And Play is the language where I connect with child, making responsive therapeutic intervention as I facilitate, response sensitively and appropriately while I listen and interact with child’s play. “I am interested in you”, ‘I am here’, and “I am with you”, all conveying my attentiveness to the internal state and the external behaviour of the child. It is what we call, “attunement’ with the child. Like a tuning fork, as I listen attentively and responding appropriately. Non-verbal and verbal.
The toys that the child used may remain the same or change within session or over sessions. But as the child’s therapist, I am totally attuned and aware: the thoughts and feelings of the child at the first phase of our working relationship are likely to remain the same. And through child’s play, I try to understand, explore and work with children on their needs that underlined their behaviour, which had troubled those around them at home and in school. My therapeutic stance is thus a needs-led approach rather than problem or behaviour focused approach.
It is in Special Time where one also begins to witness the importance of Play for children: Play expands the child’s creativity, tapping heavily on the imagination of a curious mind in the child. There is no longer one thought or one way that child had hold at the start of therapy in responding to the challenge that the child is struggling with. Rather through play, child discovers possibilities. It is through their imagined stories with play that the children gather their courage, play out their frustration, their fears, their anger or anxiety, explore the possibilities, and slowly work out what sits right within them, through the safe space shared with me. The affirmation of their unique potentialities and ‘I can do it this or that” while taking responsibilities for themselves and others are played out in the room. Hope is fostered. Trust and belief in themselves begin to manifest through their changing and more healthy ways of relating to others and challenges faced.
Is it Magic? Nah. It is Play Therapy. Or as you call it, ‘Masak Therapy” .